


Conflicted

by zinnia_rose



Category: Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-26
Updated: 2011-12-26
Packaged: 2017-10-28 03:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zinnia_rose/pseuds/zinnia_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time I look at her, I see <i>them</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conflicted

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS through 2x21 "In Sickness". TGW is not mine and I'm not making any money off this.

I hate her.

Every time I look at her, I see _them_. I see the way her hair falls against the pillow (and god, I try so hard to banish the thought of it being our pillow — _my_ pillow). I imagine the look on her face as he touches her, as his hands slide over her curves, and it makes my skin crawl.

The images flash across my mind like some sick slideshow every time I see her leather jacket rounding a corner, or hear the clack of her boots along the hall, or smell that exotic, musky perfume she wears.

She was supposed to be my friend.

She _was_ my friend…but was she really? Or was the time we spent together born of twisted pity and guilt? Sometimes that, more than anything, is what hurts the most.

I hate her.

She said it didn’t mean anything, but I don’t believe her – _can’t_ believe her. There’s no such thing as “just sex,” no matter what adulterers (the word tastes bitter even in my head) try to tell themselves

I hate her.

And yet…I also miss her. I miss laughing with her at the bar after we close a case. I miss the way we’d smile at each other through the glass door of my office when she walked by. No matter how exhausting the day had been, it didn’t seem quite so bad after hearing one of her deadpan jokes or trying to wheedle a tidbit of personal information out of her.

She made me feel fun again, like I was worth knowing as a person instead of just a lawyer. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve felt that way. And as hard as I try not to care, it hurts to think of our friendship in the past tense.

It would be so much easier if I really did hate her. But somehow…I just can’t.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Reviews make me happy. :)


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